These two. They have my whole heart. Some days I feel overwhelmed with gratitude to be a stay at home working mommy while other days it can be very challenging and I forget to take the time to really relish in this beautiful time of them being little still and even needing me at all. Right now I’m juggling potty training a toddler, school pickup & drop offs, sports, homework with my oldest and all the other tasks of mommy duties all while running a business . Running your own business is no piece of cake. Neither is raising a family. Though I always say family comes first , before work or house duties - it isn’t always easy.
There is enough guilt to go around for any parent, so I make a conscious effort to let it go and focus on the positives. I may have a hectic schedule, and, as a result, my children are learning how to be independent and self-reliant. I also know one day they wont need mommy to brush their hair or make their lunch or tuck them in at night, and some days I have to remind myself to slow down so I can enjoy these everyday in-between moments. The messes on the table, legos on the floor, dirty laundry piled everywhere ; one day they wont be there. I will miss that when its gone (well maybe not the laundry part;). Right now I’m juggling running a business and being home with a toddler and up-keeping a house (which is the first HOUSE we’ve ever lived in) and it can be a lot to keep up with it all. Daddy works long hours too and finding a balance can sometimes be hard for all of us. But days like today, where I'm soaking up the sun watching my girls build sand castles so innocently in the sand, I remember that homework can wait, cleanup can wait, dinner can wait; quality time with these two little beautiful girls (and my husband) is whats most important right now. Giving them my undivided attention when they ask - that is what I am doing my best to work on as a mommy who feels so busy and rushed for time all the time. I know they see that. I know they watch as I frantically run around like a chicken with its head cut off so that work is caught up, house stuff is caught up, everyones needs are met and the ’to do” list is all checked off. I know they see me regularly nod my head to them as they are sharing something with me: “mommy look at the painting I made” as I am trying to return an email to a client or finish editing a session. I know I should pause whatever it is I’m doing to give them those valuable minutes of attention & time because all else can wait . I know. I know. I know they wont be this little forever.
Some days feel really short though guys, don’t they? Like their aren’t enough hours in the day to get breakfast started, shuffle to school & sports, prep dinners, clean the house, devote time to work and still manage to find time for yourself. It’s all about finding a healthy balance. The truth is you can do it all if you just change what your definition of balance is. There are times where my business gets more attention than my kids and vice versa. In the end I like to believe that it all balances out. Part of being an entrepreneur is being comfortable with changing direction quickly.
Entrepreneurship, just like motherhood, is not a 9-5 job. Some days I stay up until 3 am working and then have to do a 7 a.m. child drop off at school. Be kind to yourself. Make time for you even if it's just to breathe and smell the air. Kids are going to make messes, they are going to eat your reports and download viruses to your computer. Your best weapon is a sense of humor. Enjoy your mommy entrepreneur life, wear the title proudly. We are basically super heroes.
My goal for 2016 is to not sweat the small things (i.e.: messes, missed nights of homework, running late in the morning, getting behind on work. . .etc), not push myself to do it all and be it all- all the time; but to be present in the moment and give my family more undivided attention - Because believe me when l tell you, nothing in the world is more important to me then my family.
PS: These photos of my girls were taken on a whim one day when we decided to head down for the beach to catch some sun rays. I will cherish these photos of my two girls and their incredibly close bond.
